my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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