Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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