i jhust puked up my retainher.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
