CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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