i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
