Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
