i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
