brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
