We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
