Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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