the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize