well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
