Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
