I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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