did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
