i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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