In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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