ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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