I'm lost and stupid without you.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
