Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I wear drunk well.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize