omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
