im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
