so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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