Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
