Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
what day is it and did you see me today?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
i believe in u and ur pee
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
