I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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