Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
