Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
