oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
