My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
