last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
My ass is underappreciated
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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