i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
