Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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