ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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