It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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