i permit you to call me
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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