The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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