I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He? As in you personified your dick?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize