I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
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