Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
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