Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
