Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
