the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
We were destined to go to rehab together
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I love you. Go after that dick
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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