Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
