Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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