it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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