Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
