I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
sex in a hospital.. check
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
