4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
