man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize