Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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