When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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