walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
