Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
