this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
