I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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