This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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